My people, how una dey? I know it’s been a while. I have been occupied with some family things – it isn’t easy. *smiles. I am talking about why marriages fail. Please be free to add your opinion. I don’t think anyone gets married with the mind to divorce when they get uncomfortable. But there are things we do or don’t do that will determine where we are headed. Read my points below:
- When divorce is an option, the marriage may not last. If as a lady, you retain your single apartment when moving in with your husband with ‘anything can happen’ in mind, you know you are not ready for the marriage. Your slogan should be together forever. It sounds easy though when the marriage is going smoothly. When challenges begin to come from various corners, belief me it is not easy but when both partners have decided ‘together forever’ then they will make effort to make it work. You know what they say ‘when there is a will there is a way’.
- Money problems – men should provide for their homes at least that’s the custom in this part of the world. A woman is not created to be the head. That’s a fact some men don’t like to hear. She is to help and support you not to carry your entire responsibilities. She can cover up for a while but don’t let it last longer than necessary. So man, pray, work and pray to God to help you maintain your position as the head of the family. Don’t be lazy. If what you are doing is not yielding enough to cater for the financial needs of your home then consider changing job/business. Women too should not be ‘over demanding’. Have a reasonable financial budget. Be supportive.
- Un-forgiveness – affect homes negatively. It also creates a hole for the enemy to come in and do havoc so if you don’t want that, always forgive your partner. And please be careful what you say or do under provocation so it will not seem extremely difficult for your partner to forgive. I know a man who told the wife she could not have children because she has aborted all the children in her womb. Such bitter words are difficult to forget and today they have five children together. So where did five children come from?
- Lack of communication. It’s very important that man and wife always talk to each other. Gist, laugh and talk about anything. Be your partners best friend. One man asked me some years back what he will be talking about with his wife and I said anything and everything. Start by telling her how your day was. When away from home, call, sms, whatsapp chat, etcetera. Use every means possible, your busy schedule notwithstanding.
- Lack of trust /‘See finish’. Don’t give your spouse a reason to distrust you. Be as open and sincere as possible. Show your true color and cut the pretends. Renew your love regularly.
- Acting like you have nothing to lose. ‘I don’t care attitude’ can only ruin a home. When one person is carrying the whole burden alone especially emotionally it weakens and breaks them. And they cannot be their best. We both have something to lose. No sensible person will be happy to see his building collapse under construction. Marriage is like a building under construction. That’s why it’s not perfect yet and honestly don’t think it can ever be. That’s why we continue to work it.
- Secrecy can break a home. There are secrets you keep that when it is let out eventually, it becomes difficult to continue. I used to think that only women are guilty here until recently when I heard a man kept secret of his woman and four children away from the new wife, till about three years after marriage. It was even someone in the man’s family that broke the news to her.
Marriage is work. Let’s do it. Your partner must not secretly or openly have a feeling of regret. Cover up every loop hole. Be responsible. Be his/her best.
What did I forget to add? Okay let’s hear from you in the comment section. What in your opinion do you think make marriages fail?